After some careful consideration, I decided to retire this blog officially today. I decided this for several reasons. One, I do not feel it is an accurate depiction of how I feel, two, I prefer to focus my efforts on estrogenet, three, I don't think anyone reads this, but people read estrogenet and four, I went back for Thanksgiving this week and I felt more like an outsider than I do on the typical New Orleans day. I keep saying "I can't wait to be home", "I miss New Orleans", and other phrases that imply that it is my home. I actually got homesick for it one night and couldn't sleep.
That being said, Fitchburg no longer feels like home, so I no longer felt so much like I left the city, just that it's the place in which I grew up. I will always love the charter school and find ways to visit. The Rabbit Hole was a very positive addition and I was very pleased with it on my visit. First Thursdays are a blast and the arts council is doing great work for the city. I just needed to go off to school and find myself, and I have found a new life in New Orleans.
The purpose of this blog was about my adjustment, and now that I finally feel it's over, I want to end this blog.
Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out estrogenet!
<3
Althea May
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Am I Paranoid, or Is This As Fishy As This Feels?
I am at the airport, waiting to board on the way home. I got up early because I wanted to ensure a timely cab and make sure my chronic lateness for everything doesn't effect me today. Everything I read tells me people should arrive two hours early for their flight, so I called my cab around 7:45, which was very timely, he got me to the airport in record time by going on back roads- I was here by 8:10. I went to check in and the guy's like "you look tired", and I told him I'm never up this early/haven't eaten yet, and he said that the only good food is outside security, looking at my watch, I determine I have enough time, and have Popeye's Chicken pancakes.
I went through security- no line. I'm pretty sure in the 20 minutes that I ate, nobody went through the gate A security. And I can see why: I got here, and it's deserted. The staff, everyone, keeps coming over and talking to me, like they've never seen a passenger before and I'm some sort of exotic creature, but my ticket and my online flight status say this gate, and I guess Sundays down here people expect you to be at church?
I'm trying not to be bitter, and I am usually a very friendly person, but when I travel alone, I kind of like being left alone. Company is nice, but if I don't know people, I generally don't like it when they just ask me questions.
I'll write more later, but know I've never seen an airport this deserted yet friendly.
<3May
I went through security- no line. I'm pretty sure in the 20 minutes that I ate, nobody went through the gate A security. And I can see why: I got here, and it's deserted. The staff, everyone, keeps coming over and talking to me, like they've never seen a passenger before and I'm some sort of exotic creature, but my ticket and my online flight status say this gate, and I guess Sundays down here people expect you to be at church?
I'm trying not to be bitter, and I am usually a very friendly person, but when I travel alone, I kind of like being left alone. Company is nice, but if I don't know people, I generally don't like it when they just ask me questions.
I'll write more later, but know I've never seen an airport this deserted yet friendly.
<3May
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Return
Hey there!
The next "chapter" in my blog would be my next trip home- returning to the place I grew up after my settling and conditioning into New Orleans lifestyle. Let me just reiterate that I love this city beyond words and I have started calling it home. Rebirth is such an important concept for me, whether it's myself or my city. I feel so alive again and I am wondering if that feeling will carry through after my return to MA. Don't get me wrong, I love MA, but it's getting cold up there. My parents sent me a picture of my pond frozen over.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to, here's some marching band movies.
I will write from either the airport tomorrow morning while I'm waiting for my flight (yay Louis Armstrong for having free wifi!) or from Massachusetts!
<3may
The next "chapter" in my blog would be my next trip home- returning to the place I grew up after my settling and conditioning into New Orleans lifestyle. Let me just reiterate that I love this city beyond words and I have started calling it home. Rebirth is such an important concept for me, whether it's myself or my city. I feel so alive again and I am wondering if that feeling will carry through after my return to MA. Don't get me wrong, I love MA, but it's getting cold up there. My parents sent me a picture of my pond frozen over.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to, here's some marching band movies.
I will write from either the airport tomorrow morning while I'm waiting for my flight (yay Louis Armstrong for having free wifi!) or from Massachusetts!
<3may
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Almost Thanksgiving...
A week from tomorrow, at 6 AM central, I will board a plane that will take me to transfer to another plane that will take me to Massachusetts (okay, NH first, but then MA). For starters, holy mother of God! It's Thanksgiving time already? But it feels like the semester just started.
Then again, it also feels like I have lived in New Orleans my whole life. I consider 60 degrees "winter weather" now and potential snow over Thanksgiving/Xmas fascinates me. It's not like I've missed anything on that front (except a few flurries in Fitchburg Monday I heard?), but I haven't been acclimated to cold enough weather to produce snow, in fact, I wore flip flops to class today.
New Orleans culture feels like my own in many ways now. I feel so strongly connected to the events, music, food, et cetera. I know my way around the city fairly well now, and not having a car/money, that's impressive.
Anyways, I was talking about how I am going back to MA for Thanksgiving. I know 18.5 years in one place vs. 3 months in another hardly compares, but I honestly don't remember what it felt like to live in MA. When I think of home, I think of my dorm room, and consider my house back home my parent's house, the house I grew up in. I'm not ready to completely leave the nest at all, I love my parents' support, but it's how I catalog things. Home will feel like home again within a few hours of being at home home (how many times can I say "home" in one sentence?), but my dorm room is where I live. It's a question of saying you're from one place but live in another.
I am sad I missed the foliage. I think it might be cool to do Watatic while I'm home, some sort of mountainous structure. I went from the second hilliest city in the country to a giant bowl near the bayou that we all know and love as New Orleans. Even on hurrication in Texas everything seemed so flat. I miss freaking out behind the wheel driving up and down the super-steep streets of Fitchburg, it'll be so unreal to see hills like that! I haven't been around hills since August 15th, the day I moved. I also haven't touched a steering wheel since the 14th, so we'll see how driving works.
I am excited because most of my high school friends either live in Fitchburg still or are coming home, so I'll get to see my crowd. I miss them. I miss my family. I miss NCCES. I miss Fitchburg<3
<3Alymay
Then again, it also feels like I have lived in New Orleans my whole life. I consider 60 degrees "winter weather" now and potential snow over Thanksgiving/Xmas fascinates me. It's not like I've missed anything on that front (except a few flurries in Fitchburg Monday I heard?), but I haven't been acclimated to cold enough weather to produce snow, in fact, I wore flip flops to class today.
New Orleans culture feels like my own in many ways now. I feel so strongly connected to the events, music, food, et cetera. I know my way around the city fairly well now, and not having a car/money, that's impressive.
Anyways, I was talking about how I am going back to MA for Thanksgiving. I know 18.5 years in one place vs. 3 months in another hardly compares, but I honestly don't remember what it felt like to live in MA. When I think of home, I think of my dorm room, and consider my house back home my parent's house, the house I grew up in. I'm not ready to completely leave the nest at all, I love my parents' support, but it's how I catalog things. Home will feel like home again within a few hours of being at home home (how many times can I say "home" in one sentence?), but my dorm room is where I live. It's a question of saying you're from one place but live in another.
I am sad I missed the foliage. I think it might be cool to do Watatic while I'm home, some sort of mountainous structure. I went from the second hilliest city in the country to a giant bowl near the bayou that we all know and love as New Orleans. Even on hurrication in Texas everything seemed so flat. I miss freaking out behind the wheel driving up and down the super-steep streets of Fitchburg, it'll be so unreal to see hills like that! I haven't been around hills since August 15th, the day I moved. I also haven't touched a steering wheel since the 14th, so we'll see how driving works.
I am excited because most of my high school friends either live in Fitchburg still or are coming home, so I'll get to see my crowd. I miss them. I miss my family. I miss NCCES. I miss Fitchburg<3
<3Alymay
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Few Things I've Learned In College: Edition One
Greetings! Here's the start of what I expect to be an ongoing list in the next few years as I learn inside and outside of the classroom in college.
1. The people you live with aren't going to love you unconditionally like your parents did.
'nuff said. You have to REALLY work at these relationships to create a stable living environment. Your roommate did not spawn you from his/her uterus like your parents likely did (or offered to love you like they did).
2. Just because food is served on campus on your meal plan does not mean it's good for you or cheap.
For instance. The Rat. We think "oh it's 1:30 AM and I'm hungry. The Rat's open! Then you get there and realize you won't be spending less than six or seven dollars on anything, and though you just swipe your card and think nothing of it, those are real live dollars you're spending. And though they offer "healthy" options at the dining hall, it's nothing like Lanni Orchards quality fruit or anything remotely close. My body cannot wait to return to my parents' place in Fitchburg and be fed well for free again!
3. Procrastination is a way of life. A very very deprecating way of life.
Me saying this is like a "do as I say, not as I do" thing, but I am very good at saying "oh, I got loads of time!" and not doing my work until the last minute. The difficult part for me is it always gets done anyways, so it doesn't really matter when I do it academically. Stress wise? Ehh...stress is an addiction like caffeine, cigarettes, and cracks. These things come in threes and c's. For instance, I am blogging right now.
4. Relationships will come and go.
Don't get attached to one person too quickly, especially if you didn't know each other before college. The people may not be what you thought, and then that just creates a stupid dramatic breakup for no apparent reason. It's best to take these things slow.
5. It's good to have a personal motivator/incentive.
For instance, mine is Twin Peaks. My friend and I will say "after we do x amount of work, we can watch an episode of Twin Peaks." And even though I've seen every single episode, I decided since I haven't seen "Fire, Walk With Me" in ages, I will not watch it until we make it through all 30 episodes again. That way, this method will last at least another 23 times I need an incentive...
6. Unlike at home, you can't just leave your laundry in the machine...even an extra 20-30 minutes.
Behavior like that will result your clothes to end up on the floor of a dirty laundry room. They don't care if you got a nice ambulance ride/trip to the hospital while you were waiting for your clothes to dry.
That's all for today, but expect more editions as the years go by.
<3Alymay
1. The people you live with aren't going to love you unconditionally like your parents did.
'nuff said. You have to REALLY work at these relationships to create a stable living environment. Your roommate did not spawn you from his/her uterus like your parents likely did (or offered to love you like they did).
2. Just because food is served on campus on your meal plan does not mean it's good for you or cheap.
For instance. The Rat. We think "oh it's 1:30 AM and I'm hungry. The Rat's open! Then you get there and realize you won't be spending less than six or seven dollars on anything, and though you just swipe your card and think nothing of it, those are real live dollars you're spending. And though they offer "healthy" options at the dining hall, it's nothing like Lanni Orchards quality fruit or anything remotely close. My body cannot wait to return to my parents' place in Fitchburg and be fed well for free again!
3. Procrastination is a way of life. A very very deprecating way of life.
Me saying this is like a "do as I say, not as I do" thing, but I am very good at saying "oh, I got loads of time!" and not doing my work until the last minute. The difficult part for me is it always gets done anyways, so it doesn't really matter when I do it academically. Stress wise? Ehh...stress is an addiction like caffeine, cigarettes, and cracks. These things come in threes and c's. For instance, I am blogging right now.
4. Relationships will come and go.
Don't get attached to one person too quickly, especially if you didn't know each other before college. The people may not be what you thought, and then that just creates a stupid dramatic breakup for no apparent reason. It's best to take these things slow.
5. It's good to have a personal motivator/incentive.
For instance, mine is Twin Peaks. My friend and I will say "after we do x amount of work, we can watch an episode of Twin Peaks." And even though I've seen every single episode, I decided since I haven't seen "Fire, Walk With Me" in ages, I will not watch it until we make it through all 30 episodes again. That way, this method will last at least another 23 times I need an incentive...
6. Unlike at home, you can't just leave your laundry in the machine...even an extra 20-30 minutes.
Behavior like that will result your clothes to end up on the floor of a dirty laundry room. They don't care if you got a nice ambulance ride/trip to the hospital while you were waiting for your clothes to dry.
That's all for today, but expect more editions as the years go by.
<3Alymay
Monday, November 10, 2008
COLD!
Hey everyone!
I haven't forgotten about you, I just ventured to Houston for the weekend on band business (even though we lost 42-14, we had the most fun marching band experience in a while). I love marching band, it's kind of like my family here. I may hang out with other people a lot, but I can always come home to the m. band:-)
Right now, it's sixty out. I just went to the little market on campus for some puffin cereal and doctor pepper (sentiments of home...), wearing a sweater and boots, and STILL feeling cold. Sixty used to signal the start of t-shirt weather, and now that's seventy five. Then again, when I was in Houston this weekend, I got sunburned...in November. That'd never happen at home!
It's strange how our bodies adapt but our minds don't necessarily. Today, when I saw sixty online, I was thinking "no big deal!", but when i got outside, I was shivering. Mentally, i'm stoked for thirty degree weather, but I still warned my parents to pick me up at the airport with warm clothes because i don't really have any down here. It's nuts!
New Orleans really feels like home now, I mean Fitchburg will always be where I'm from, but NOLA is where I plan on spending a good chunk of my life:-)
<3may
I haven't forgotten about you, I just ventured to Houston for the weekend on band business (even though we lost 42-14, we had the most fun marching band experience in a while). I love marching band, it's kind of like my family here. I may hang out with other people a lot, but I can always come home to the m. band:-)
Right now, it's sixty out. I just went to the little market on campus for some puffin cereal and doctor pepper (sentiments of home...), wearing a sweater and boots, and STILL feeling cold. Sixty used to signal the start of t-shirt weather, and now that's seventy five. Then again, when I was in Houston this weekend, I got sunburned...in November. That'd never happen at home!
It's strange how our bodies adapt but our minds don't necessarily. Today, when I saw sixty online, I was thinking "no big deal!", but when i got outside, I was shivering. Mentally, i'm stoked for thirty degree weather, but I still warned my parents to pick me up at the airport with warm clothes because i don't really have any down here. It's nuts!
New Orleans really feels like home now, I mean Fitchburg will always be where I'm from, but NOLA is where I plan on spending a good chunk of my life:-)
<3may
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I know I know I know I know...
It's been over a week, which is something I promised myself I wouldn't do with this blog, but hey- it's been a lot of transitions.
I am finally settled in my new room, which is in the residential college (definitely more comfortable). My roommate is nice and our lifestyles fit together as far as roommate matching goes. I am starting to lax a bit on the cleaning front (and the sleeping front?) but it's all good. I am even thinking about taking a math class next semester! It would be a bit of a stretch, because I'd have to go from Calc II since I got credit for the Calc I class I took at FSC (which didn't even cover up to my friend's midterm at Tulane's calc I...), but I have a couple of math professors in the family and a close friend taking consolidated calc, so I'll be able to nail it over xmas.
Time is flying! In a month, it'll be finals season. Scary! I'll feel so much better once this semester is under my belt and I can start being an academic porn star again. I am starting to eat, breathe, and sleep like an "intellectual" again, I'm getting back to the woman I was before my personal hiatus of myself.
I feel more and more settled everyday, which is funny because I am a) not medicated anymore and b) out of therapy. It feels so much more natural though, and I just do therapy by yoga, cleaning (maybe I know I'll be stressed tomorrow morning and that's why I don't feel like cleaning), reading, writing, and sharing oxytocin (the "cuddle" hormone) with my friends. I am settling down again:-)
I keep remembering this one paper I wrote for one of my favorite teachers in eleventh grade. it was a fourteen-page paper on the cultural effects on HIV transmission- you can read a quick selection from it here on estrogenet. It was one of the first things I ever posted on my blog, so yay for it! i think the main reason why I keep bringing it up is in conversations with my Louisiana "bff", when I tell him how much I desire to be academically inclined again. Little bits and pieces are coming back, just not in the form they necessarily should be. I procrastinate on papers not because I am lazy but because a prompt like "do a research paper on something that has to do with sexuality!" makes me want to write like 453534653 papers...but which one to pick? (Incidentally, I picked talking to kids about sex, and I will make a blog-friendly cut for estrogenet soon).
I have to go write in estrogenet, incidentally, about Take Back the Night. The biggest post-Katrina turn out so far!
<3may
I am finally settled in my new room, which is in the residential college (definitely more comfortable). My roommate is nice and our lifestyles fit together as far as roommate matching goes. I am starting to lax a bit on the cleaning front (and the sleeping front?) but it's all good. I am even thinking about taking a math class next semester! It would be a bit of a stretch, because I'd have to go from Calc II since I got credit for the Calc I class I took at FSC (which didn't even cover up to my friend's midterm at Tulane's calc I...), but I have a couple of math professors in the family and a close friend taking consolidated calc, so I'll be able to nail it over xmas.
Time is flying! In a month, it'll be finals season. Scary! I'll feel so much better once this semester is under my belt and I can start being an academic porn star again. I am starting to eat, breathe, and sleep like an "intellectual" again, I'm getting back to the woman I was before my personal hiatus of myself.
I feel more and more settled everyday, which is funny because I am a) not medicated anymore and b) out of therapy. It feels so much more natural though, and I just do therapy by yoga, cleaning (maybe I know I'll be stressed tomorrow morning and that's why I don't feel like cleaning), reading, writing, and sharing oxytocin (the "cuddle" hormone) with my friends. I am settling down again:-)
I keep remembering this one paper I wrote for one of my favorite teachers in eleventh grade. it was a fourteen-page paper on the cultural effects on HIV transmission- you can read a quick selection from it here on estrogenet. It was one of the first things I ever posted on my blog, so yay for it! i think the main reason why I keep bringing it up is in conversations with my Louisiana "bff", when I tell him how much I desire to be academically inclined again. Little bits and pieces are coming back, just not in the form they necessarily should be. I procrastinate on papers not because I am lazy but because a prompt like "do a research paper on something that has to do with sexuality!" makes me want to write like 453534653 papers...but which one to pick? (Incidentally, I picked talking to kids about sex, and I will make a blog-friendly cut for estrogenet soon).
I have to go write in estrogenet, incidentally, about Take Back the Night. The biggest post-Katrina turn out so far!
<3may
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