Walking home from orchestra today, I felt the most comfortable and at one with the campus since my arrival in mid-August. With a trombone on my back, Tulane flip-flops on my feet, and a smile on my face, I thought about how I was so miserable here at first, how much I love Massachusetts, but reminding myself that I wouldn't be regretting the choice of jeans because of the weather down there- my parents have already used the wood stove. Just yesterday, many girls in bikinis were sunbathing outside my window. This climate is a lot more comfortable, but I am going to miss the foliage this year.
I got sad news this week that my grandfather is in the hospital because his heart rate is unsteady- guess heart problems run in the family this week. They're probably putting in a pacemaker on Monday, but it's just hard to be halfway across the country and not be able to visit him. I am trying to think positively about this whole situation. I am at one with the world.
On my walk earlier, I also thought about my future plans. Right now, I'm taking it easy, exploring classes that sound interesting, and finding myself. My favorite classes are music and human sexuality (I've always been for sex, drugs, and rock and roll I guess), but I feel Russian is getting up there, too. The only class I really don't like is biology, which may be a big clue that I do not have a future in medicine. I think I'd be happiest teaching and writing, playing trombone and euphonium, saving the world with my words, and doing political activism. If well behaved women rarely make history, maybe it's time for me to do what's right in my heart and not what I'm supposed to do. I think I have a future in academia ahead of me- a music history professor? Or English? Something humanities-based- I've always loved those classes. Psychology- I could be a counselor. In short, I am keeping options open and all over the place. I love marching band so much too. That's really my favorite thing I do on campus.
All I know is that for the first time since I moved here, I can honestly say I love it here.
<3may
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