There Isn't That Much Ocean Between Boston and St. John's

"Boston and St. John's"
(written by Alan Doyle)

Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn

CHORUS:
It's true I must be going but I swear I won't be long
There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St. John's
I'm a rover and I'm bound to sail away
I'm a rover. Can you love me anyway?

And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?

CHORUS

Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you'll wait for me

Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn

CHORUS

I don't know whether it's the fact that I saw Great Big Sea in Boston, or the fact that my family is from St. John's, Newfoundland, or the fact that I feel like I need to leave for Boston all of the time, but hearing this song today made me cry. Great Big Sea is an amazing band, and I love them so much.

Even though they didn't write at all (and probably haven't even heard of) Fitchburg, something told me to write in this blog. I don't know why I feel so retrospective here, but sometimes, I'll be walking to the student union or to the dining hall and I think "well, this isn't Fitchburg". It doesn't help that the staircase in Newcomb Hall (where my Russian class is) looks exactly like the one in Thompson or the fact that the Newcomb campus slightly resembles a more Southern FSC (think magnolia and palm trees). The stage has the same equipment and design as Durgin Hall at UMass Lowell and even the same stackable chairs- all that's missing is my trombone friends: Amy, Steve, Nate, Chuck, Tom...

There may not be much ocean between Boston and St. John's, but there sure as hell is a lot of land between Boston and New Orleans. According to Google Maps, it is 1522 miles from my address here to my address home, and would take exactly a day (24 hours and 0 minutes) to drive there in a straight shot. That's a lot of land, space, and it's kind of scary to think about. I want to go home so badly, but at the same time, I love it here. I'd only be happy if we could teleport so I could go home and visit my parents, have dinner with them once a week, play with my Satchmo puppy, and then be back and live in Monroe, because I do love it here. I'm just so torn- I want to be everywhere all at once- which of course throws me back to Lowell, and my love of Jack Kerouac...

"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac, In On the Road

I've lost my focus.

<3may