Walking home from orchestra today, I felt the most comfortable and at one with the campus since my arrival in mid-August. With a trombone on my back, Tulane flip-flops on my feet, and a smile on my face, I thought about how I was so miserable here at first, how much I love Massachusetts, but reminding myself that I wouldn't be regretting the choice of jeans because of the weather down there- my parents have already used the wood stove. Just yesterday, many girls in bikinis were sunbathing outside my window. This climate is a lot more comfortable, but I am going to miss the foliage this year.
I got sad news this week that my grandfather is in the hospital because his heart rate is unsteady- guess heart problems run in the family this week. They're probably putting in a pacemaker on Monday, but it's just hard to be halfway across the country and not be able to visit him. I am trying to think positively about this whole situation. I am at one with the world.
On my walk earlier, I also thought about my future plans. Right now, I'm taking it easy, exploring classes that sound interesting, and finding myself. My favorite classes are music and human sexuality (I've always been for sex, drugs, and rock and roll I guess), but I feel Russian is getting up there, too. The only class I really don't like is biology, which may be a big clue that I do not have a future in medicine. I think I'd be happiest teaching and writing, playing trombone and euphonium, saving the world with my words, and doing political activism. If well behaved women rarely make history, maybe it's time for me to do what's right in my heart and not what I'm supposed to do. I think I have a future in academia ahead of me- a music history professor? Or English? Something humanities-based- I've always loved those classes. Psychology- I could be a counselor. In short, I am keeping options open and all over the place. I love marching band so much too. That's really my favorite thing I do on campus.
All I know is that for the first time since I moved here, I can honestly say I love it here.
<3may
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
In Sickness and In Health
So this has been the most intense week ever.
I had a bad reaction to a medication on Sunday night that landed me in Tulane Pediatric Hospital. It was really scary because Andrew and I called TEMS (the tulane EMS service) and they had to come with their oxygen tanks and everything and take me to the hospital because my chest pain was bad and I couldn't breathe. Thank God I'm doing so much better- I feel fit as a fiddle now- and am off the medication that made me sick.
That made me miss some classes in the beginning of the week, but now I'm back in the swing of things. I played in the Tulane/SMU game last night (we won!), and I got to meet some cool band kids from SMU. Tonight, the marching band and kappa kappa psi (my co-ed music honors fraternity) are taking them to the quarter:-)
All of this medical excitement did make me a little extra homesick this week. I'm so used to being in Boston and having my primary care physician easily accessible. I'm used to my mom taking care of me and taking the pain away. It's very different, but it's all a part of growing up.
Classes are going well- I've already changed my major from public health to music and (i think?) psychology. I decided I'm much more interested in mental health, and I'd really prefer to be talking through things with people than giving them medications. I am thinking about becoming a counselor, but things are still very up in the air. Right now, I'm taking bio, harmony (music theory), russian, human sexuality, and four credits of bands. Besides a few difficulties in bio, things are going fantastically.
I miss everyone back home, but I am starting to like it a lot here. And I have tons of Tulane pride, I'm excited it's homecoming week. And not just because I get to see Reel Big Fish:-)
Love,
May
I had a bad reaction to a medication on Sunday night that landed me in Tulane Pediatric Hospital. It was really scary because Andrew and I called TEMS (the tulane EMS service) and they had to come with their oxygen tanks and everything and take me to the hospital because my chest pain was bad and I couldn't breathe. Thank God I'm doing so much better- I feel fit as a fiddle now- and am off the medication that made me sick.
That made me miss some classes in the beginning of the week, but now I'm back in the swing of things. I played in the Tulane/SMU game last night (we won!), and I got to meet some cool band kids from SMU. Tonight, the marching band and kappa kappa psi (my co-ed music honors fraternity) are taking them to the quarter:-)
All of this medical excitement did make me a little extra homesick this week. I'm so used to being in Boston and having my primary care physician easily accessible. I'm used to my mom taking care of me and taking the pain away. It's very different, but it's all a part of growing up.
Classes are going well- I've already changed my major from public health to music and (i think?) psychology. I decided I'm much more interested in mental health, and I'd really prefer to be talking through things with people than giving them medications. I am thinking about becoming a counselor, but things are still very up in the air. Right now, I'm taking bio, harmony (music theory), russian, human sexuality, and four credits of bands. Besides a few difficulties in bio, things are going fantastically.
I miss everyone back home, but I am starting to like it a lot here. And I have tons of Tulane pride, I'm excited it's homecoming week. And not just because I get to see Reel Big Fish:-)
Love,
May
Thursday, September 18, 2008
There Isn't That Much Ocean Between Boston and St. John's
"Boston and St. John's"
(written by Alan Doyle)
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS:
It's true I must be going but I swear I won't be long
There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St. John's
I'm a rover and I'm bound to sail away
I'm a rover. Can you love me anyway?
And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?
CHORUS
Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you'll wait for me
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS
I don't know whether it's the fact that I saw Great Big Sea in Boston, or the fact that my family is from St. John's, Newfoundland, or the fact that I feel like I need to leave for Boston all of the time, but hearing this song today made me cry. Great Big Sea is an amazing band, and I love them so much.
Even though they didn't write at all (and probably haven't even heard of) Fitchburg, something told me to write in this blog. I don't know why I feel so retrospective here, but sometimes, I'll be walking to the student union or to the dining hall and I think "well, this isn't Fitchburg". It doesn't help that the staircase in Newcomb Hall (where my Russian class is) looks exactly like the one in Thompson or the fact that the Newcomb campus slightly resembles a more Southern FSC (think magnolia and palm trees). The stage has the same equipment and design as Durgin Hall at UMass Lowell and even the same stackable chairs- all that's missing is my trombone friends: Amy, Steve, Nate, Chuck, Tom...
There may not be much ocean between Boston and St. John's, but there sure as hell is a lot of land between Boston and New Orleans. According to Google Maps, it is 1522 miles from my address here to my address home, and would take exactly a day (24 hours and 0 minutes) to drive there in a straight shot. That's a lot of land, space, and it's kind of scary to think about. I want to go home so badly, but at the same time, I love it here. I'd only be happy if we could teleport so I could go home and visit my parents, have dinner with them once a week, play with my Satchmo puppy, and then be back and live in Monroe, because I do love it here. I'm just so torn- I want to be everywhere all at once- which of course throws me back to Lowell, and my love of Jack Kerouac...
"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac, In On the Road
I've lost my focus.
<3may
(written by Alan Doyle)
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS:
It's true I must be going but I swear I won't be long
There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St. John's
I'm a rover and I'm bound to sail away
I'm a rover. Can you love me anyway?
And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?
CHORUS
Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you'll wait for me
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS
I don't know whether it's the fact that I saw Great Big Sea in Boston, or the fact that my family is from St. John's, Newfoundland, or the fact that I feel like I need to leave for Boston all of the time, but hearing this song today made me cry. Great Big Sea is an amazing band, and I love them so much.
Even though they didn't write at all (and probably haven't even heard of) Fitchburg, something told me to write in this blog. I don't know why I feel so retrospective here, but sometimes, I'll be walking to the student union or to the dining hall and I think "well, this isn't Fitchburg". It doesn't help that the staircase in Newcomb Hall (where my Russian class is) looks exactly like the one in Thompson or the fact that the Newcomb campus slightly resembles a more Southern FSC (think magnolia and palm trees). The stage has the same equipment and design as Durgin Hall at UMass Lowell and even the same stackable chairs- all that's missing is my trombone friends: Amy, Steve, Nate, Chuck, Tom...
There may not be much ocean between Boston and St. John's, but there sure as hell is a lot of land between Boston and New Orleans. According to Google Maps, it is 1522 miles from my address here to my address home, and would take exactly a day (24 hours and 0 minutes) to drive there in a straight shot. That's a lot of land, space, and it's kind of scary to think about. I want to go home so badly, but at the same time, I love it here. I'd only be happy if we could teleport so I could go home and visit my parents, have dinner with them once a week, play with my Satchmo puppy, and then be back and live in Monroe, because I do love it here. I'm just so torn- I want to be everywhere all at once- which of course throws me back to Lowell, and my love of Jack Kerouac...
"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac, In On the Road
I've lost my focus.
<3may
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Good and Bad News
Hey everyone-
Well, the good news is my meteorology skills have improved about two-fold. And back in New England, I was one of those card-carrying NOLA weather spotters, so I was better than the average 18 year old girl.
The bad news is it doesn't do wonders for my nerves. I neurotically check intellicast and weather.gov, only to find things like this (taken from intellicast.com):
And I start to say to myself "okay, if pressure from Hanna alleviates a bit, it'll just hit FL", but I don't want to wish a hurricane on FL. Then I thought "well if it hits Cuba dead on (which now it looks to be doing), then it'll slow down!" but I remember they REALLY don't need another hurricane. I just want it to go away.
And NOT hit NOLA. Two potential hurricanes your first month of senior year is nasty. This never happened in New England!
Love,
may
Well, the good news is my meteorology skills have improved about two-fold. And back in New England, I was one of those card-carrying NOLA weather spotters, so I was better than the average 18 year old girl.
The bad news is it doesn't do wonders for my nerves. I neurotically check intellicast and weather.gov, only to find things like this (taken from intellicast.com):
And I start to say to myself "okay, if pressure from Hanna alleviates a bit, it'll just hit FL", but I don't want to wish a hurricane on FL. Then I thought "well if it hits Cuba dead on (which now it looks to be doing), then it'll slow down!" but I remember they REALLY don't need another hurricane. I just want it to go away.And NOT hit NOLA. Two potential hurricanes your first month of senior year is nasty. This never happened in New England!
Love,
may
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The Concept Of Home
Hey everyone!
I'm off to New Orleans, back to my dorm in the morning. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.
This evacuation has really thrown off my sense of home, however. I had just started calling the dorm "home", had only lived there for two weeks, when I had to get up and travel to Dallas. I've been here a little over the week, and though I love it here and am so well taken care of by my boyfriend's family, it's not my home, I can't call it that- I'm just visiting. Fitchburg still is where I'm from, but as my parents have apparently changed all of the furniture in my room and I honestly think of my 18 years of Massachusetts as a blur now, it has lost its "home" touch in my mind. It will always be where I am from, but I won't return for several months.
Since I am in a transient state with no clear point of "home", I've been in weird moods. I love spending time here- every day is a new experience, more fun. But I get homesick at nights, and my comforts are a few stuffed animals that evacuated me and my boyfriend to remind me of our times together in New Orleans. I have clothes that I picked out with my mom, and of course, the internet, which makes the world so much smaller. I am doing fine.
I can't wait to unpack my room tomorrow (again), and make Mo-503 my home- at least for a little while.
Unless Ike gets in the way? Too early to say.
Love,
May
I'm off to New Orleans, back to my dorm in the morning. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.
This evacuation has really thrown off my sense of home, however. I had just started calling the dorm "home", had only lived there for two weeks, when I had to get up and travel to Dallas. I've been here a little over the week, and though I love it here and am so well taken care of by my boyfriend's family, it's not my home, I can't call it that- I'm just visiting. Fitchburg still is where I'm from, but as my parents have apparently changed all of the furniture in my room and I honestly think of my 18 years of Massachusetts as a blur now, it has lost its "home" touch in my mind. It will always be where I am from, but I won't return for several months.
Since I am in a transient state with no clear point of "home", I've been in weird moods. I love spending time here- every day is a new experience, more fun. But I get homesick at nights, and my comforts are a few stuffed animals that evacuated me and my boyfriend to remind me of our times together in New Orleans. I have clothes that I picked out with my mom, and of course, the internet, which makes the world so much smaller. I am doing fine.
I can't wait to unpack my room tomorrow (again), and make Mo-503 my home- at least for a little while.
Unless Ike gets in the way? Too early to say.
Love,
May
Monday, September 1, 2008
Dallas Files? Just Kidding.
Hey everyone!
Here in Dallas, it's almost one, but I am still awake. I am having a fantastic weekend here with Meg and Andrew (roommate and boyfriend respectively) in the DFW area. I've met a lot of Andrew's family and friends, seen the Fort Worth Stock Yards, went tubing for the first time, gone to country clubs for dinner, and gone swimming. The rest of the week includes plans of seeing Andrew's high school, the aquarium, a jazz concert, a wildlife refuge, and other points of interest. I am sure that we'll have a blast. Here I am about to take a picture with a horned cow.
As for the storm, it did not seem to hurt NOLA too much at all. Tulane will resume classes on Monday, so Andrew and I bought flights for Sunday morning. This ended up becoming a ten day vacation more than anything, but it is a great thing that we left when we did. I have homework to do and miles to go before i sleep (I don't really sleep to well in general at all, and a close friend being in Slidell didn't help me that much at all this week). I am very homesick for Massachusetts, and often think about my high school, my dog, my close friends, FSC, and First Thursdays (not going to lie, I thought about coming to MA for the evacuation to hit up NCCES' first day and FT this month). Though I am a little homesick for MA, I am having fun on my hurrication here.
Much love,
May
Here in Dallas, it's almost one, but I am still awake. I am having a fantastic weekend here with Meg and Andrew (roommate and boyfriend respectively) in the DFW area. I've met a lot of Andrew's family and friends, seen the Fort Worth Stock Yards, went tubing for the first time, gone to country clubs for dinner, and gone swimming. The rest of the week includes plans of seeing Andrew's high school, the aquarium, a jazz concert, a wildlife refuge, and other points of interest. I am sure that we'll have a blast. Here I am about to take a picture with a horned cow.
As for the storm, it did not seem to hurt NOLA too much at all. Tulane will resume classes on Monday, so Andrew and I bought flights for Sunday morning. This ended up becoming a ten day vacation more than anything, but it is a great thing that we left when we did. I have homework to do and miles to go before i sleep (I don't really sleep to well in general at all, and a close friend being in Slidell didn't help me that much at all this week). I am very homesick for Massachusetts, and often think about my high school, my dog, my close friends, FSC, and First Thursdays (not going to lie, I thought about coming to MA for the evacuation to hit up NCCES' first day and FT this month). Though I am a little homesick for MA, I am having fun on my hurrication here.
Much love,
May
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