Homeless

It's hard to feel safe when you don't have a home.

My roommate made it very clear to me that I was no longer welcome to stay with her in our dorm, and since I was planning on moving out soon anyways, it just fueled the right fires for me to pack up and crash on couches (more like sharing those tiny dorm beds) and live night to night. I haven't had something I considered my own "bed" since...Thursday. And I haven't spent two consecutive nights in one space, because I don't want to get tied down anywhere. I stayed in a very nice suite last night with two of my marching band friends so I might stay here again if housing doesn't find me a place to live today. Or, I might go stay with my sister in Wisconsin because i have the go-ahead for a medical leave, but my parents aren't as cool with that. I would go home to Fitchburg, but things have happened to me there that I want to be far away from. My teachers tell me i'm too unstable to go to class and tell me "don't worry about it" if I even suggest going back to class.

I just feel like I don't have a safe place anymore on campus and that's a sad thing to feel.

<3alymay

I want to go home.

...just getting it out there.

Being Away At Election Time

My absentee ballot is coming in the mail this week, and it's my first official presidential election (the democratic primary in March was my first election ever). I kind of wish I could actually go to a polling place and do it the ol' fashioned way, but the MA election is a big deal for me right now so I'm doing absentee instead of registering here. Virginia Wood is running for Hargraves' seat, and I really want her to win that election (and I've helped out with her myspace and facebook a little bit). Question two is important to me, too, because it doesn't make sense for possession of marijuana to be a criminal offense- we'd save (and make...) a lot more money by making it a civil offense. I also don't believe in the prison system, but that's another rant for another day.

A lot of my friends registered in Louisiana, and they actually get to vote in the LBC, our student union. Things are heating up and I get an email a day from our chapter of College Democrats. It's exciting times, I just am a little homesick because I wish I could use my old connections and resources, but it's all a part of growing up.

<3Alymay

Linguistics

The best part about Tulane for me right now is how different all of our backgrounds are. Sure, there's not enough ethnic diversity for my liking, but there's people from all over the country who want a Tulane degree (after all, we all know that Harvard is just the Tulane of the North). Though there are certainly more Southerners than fellow "Yankees" here, the diversity is phenomenal. I have friends from rural Mississippi and the nicest parts of Dallas, all with accents that I have a hard time understanding. Every time I say "wicked", which anyone who knows me knows is a staple word of my vocabulary, I get laughs, but then again, when my roommate tells a story, she says "whenever I just went to..." instead of "when I just went to". Verb conjugation is no longer necessary, and whenever anyone corrects someone's grammar, they usually say, "it's the South, baby". Store clerks and restaurant staff call me "baby girl" (as does my boyfriend?) and when I call someone "buddy", they think I'm threatening them.

Little things that my microcosm of born-and-bred Fitchburg friends took for granted (like comprehension of the word "wicked") are starting to be more appreciated.

After falling off the top bunk and almost breaking my foot, Meg and I switched beds. Here's how I've decked out my new one. Note the Newfoundland rebel flag and Red Sox pillow- I know where I came from. The green thing is actually a sarong that I've made a makeshift curtain out of so I can take naps during the day.


<3may

Appreciation for College.

College is awesome. We think as high schoolers but have the freedom of an adult and parents to call on if you really mess up and a place with free food that's opened at most decent hours. Though I am much more studious here than I was in Massachusetts, I have certainly lived more. For better or for worse, I've developed a strong taste for ramen and have learned to hide a hickey with toothpaste and foundation. I've broken minor laws and had to figure out how to take care of myself when I couldn't breathe. My door is decorated with condoms as a response to some stupid penis graffiti people left on our door signs (if you're drawing a penis on my door, you better give it a condom). It's 2 AM and instead of doing my russian homework, I'm writing. I've changed my major about 30 times in the past week. I love it here.

Nobody looks at you funny when you dance to Ricky Martin and Britney Spears. When you're first starting out at school, you make friends while wearing a towel after a shower, brushing your teeth next to each other. The concept of personal hygiene has lapsed a little bit and you take more risks.

I feel myself living my life to the fullest now, and I am one happy woman for it.

Part of me still wishes that next week was Thanksgiving because I do miss Massachusetts. Down there, you have to wear a sweater outside because it's so cold. Here, you have to inside because people jack the AC way up. I want to see the leaves change, but ours only fall from hurricane damage. When the Red Sox win, people aren't partying in the streets, in fact, some people get pissed at you for wearing a sox shirt. One (extremely drunk) guy I ran into on the quad tried to pick me up today with this line, "I have a problem. I love red heads, but they're all from Boston and I'm a yankees fan". It was so weird to be their concept of a Boston girl when I am really just from North Central Mass.

And I do miss Fitchburg. More than I can say.

<3Alymay

Reflections On A New Orleans Fall Day

Walking home from orchestra today, I felt the most comfortable and at one with the campus since my arrival in mid-August. With a trombone on my back, Tulane flip-flops on my feet, and a smile on my face, I thought about how I was so miserable here at first, how much I love Massachusetts, but reminding myself that I wouldn't be regretting the choice of jeans because of the weather down there- my parents have already used the wood stove. Just yesterday, many girls in bikinis were sunbathing outside my window. This climate is a lot more comfortable, but I am going to miss the foliage this year.

I got sad news this week that my grandfather is in the hospital because his heart rate is unsteady- guess heart problems run in the family this week. They're probably putting in a pacemaker on Monday, but it's just hard to be halfway across the country and not be able to visit him. I am trying to think positively about this whole situation. I am at one with the world.

On my walk earlier, I also thought about my future plans. Right now, I'm taking it easy, exploring classes that sound interesting, and finding myself. My favorite classes are music and human sexuality (I've always been for sex, drugs, and rock and roll I guess), but I feel Russian is getting up there, too. The only class I really don't like is biology, which may be a big clue that I do not have a future in medicine. I think I'd be happiest teaching and writing, playing trombone and euphonium, saving the world with my words, and doing political activism. If well behaved women rarely make history, maybe it's time for me to do what's right in my heart and not what I'm supposed to do. I think I have a future in academia ahead of me- a music history professor? Or English? Something humanities-based- I've always loved those classes. Psychology- I could be a counselor. In short, I am keeping options open and all over the place. I love marching band so much too. That's really my favorite thing I do on campus.

All I know is that for the first time since I moved here, I can honestly say I love it here.

<3may

In Sickness and In Health

So this has been the most intense week ever.

I had a bad reaction to a medication on Sunday night that landed me in Tulane Pediatric Hospital. It was really scary because Andrew and I called TEMS (the tulane EMS service) and they had to come with their oxygen tanks and everything and take me to the hospital because my chest pain was bad and I couldn't breathe. Thank God I'm doing so much better- I feel fit as a fiddle now- and am off the medication that made me sick.

That made me miss some classes in the beginning of the week, but now I'm back in the swing of things. I played in the Tulane/SMU game last night (we won!), and I got to meet some cool band kids from SMU. Tonight, the marching band and kappa kappa psi (my co-ed music honors fraternity) are taking them to the quarter:-)

All of this medical excitement did make me a little extra homesick this week. I'm so used to being in Boston and having my primary care physician easily accessible. I'm used to my mom taking care of me and taking the pain away. It's very different, but it's all a part of growing up.

Classes are going well- I've already changed my major from public health to music and (i think?) psychology. I decided I'm much more interested in mental health, and I'd really prefer to be talking through things with people than giving them medications. I am thinking about becoming a counselor, but things are still very up in the air. Right now, I'm taking bio, harmony (music theory), russian, human sexuality, and four credits of bands. Besides a few difficulties in bio, things are going fantastically.

I miss everyone back home, but I am starting to like it a lot here. And I have tons of Tulane pride, I'm excited it's homecoming week. And not just because I get to see Reel Big Fish:-)

Love,
May