After some careful consideration, I decided to retire this blog officially today. I decided this for several reasons. One, I do not feel it is an accurate depiction of how I feel, two, I prefer to focus my efforts on estrogenet, three, I don't think anyone reads this, but people read estrogenet and four, I went back for Thanksgiving this week and I felt more like an outsider than I do on the typical New Orleans day. I keep saying "I can't wait to be home", "I miss New Orleans", and other phrases that imply that it is my home. I actually got homesick for it one night and couldn't sleep.
That being said, Fitchburg no longer feels like home, so I no longer felt so much like I left the city, just that it's the place in which I grew up. I will always love the charter school and find ways to visit. The Rabbit Hole was a very positive addition and I was very pleased with it on my visit. First Thursdays are a blast and the arts council is doing great work for the city. I just needed to go off to school and find myself, and I have found a new life in New Orleans.
The purpose of this blog was about my adjustment, and now that I finally feel it's over, I want to end this blog.
Thanks for reading, and be sure to check out estrogenet!
<3
Althea May
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Am I Paranoid, or Is This As Fishy As This Feels?
I am at the airport, waiting to board on the way home. I got up early because I wanted to ensure a timely cab and make sure my chronic lateness for everything doesn't effect me today. Everything I read tells me people should arrive two hours early for their flight, so I called my cab around 7:45, which was very timely, he got me to the airport in record time by going on back roads- I was here by 8:10. I went to check in and the guy's like "you look tired", and I told him I'm never up this early/haven't eaten yet, and he said that the only good food is outside security, looking at my watch, I determine I have enough time, and have Popeye's Chicken pancakes.
I went through security- no line. I'm pretty sure in the 20 minutes that I ate, nobody went through the gate A security. And I can see why: I got here, and it's deserted. The staff, everyone, keeps coming over and talking to me, like they've never seen a passenger before and I'm some sort of exotic creature, but my ticket and my online flight status say this gate, and I guess Sundays down here people expect you to be at church?
I'm trying not to be bitter, and I am usually a very friendly person, but when I travel alone, I kind of like being left alone. Company is nice, but if I don't know people, I generally don't like it when they just ask me questions.
I'll write more later, but know I've never seen an airport this deserted yet friendly.
<3May
I went through security- no line. I'm pretty sure in the 20 minutes that I ate, nobody went through the gate A security. And I can see why: I got here, and it's deserted. The staff, everyone, keeps coming over and talking to me, like they've never seen a passenger before and I'm some sort of exotic creature, but my ticket and my online flight status say this gate, and I guess Sundays down here people expect you to be at church?
I'm trying not to be bitter, and I am usually a very friendly person, but when I travel alone, I kind of like being left alone. Company is nice, but if I don't know people, I generally don't like it when they just ask me questions.
I'll write more later, but know I've never seen an airport this deserted yet friendly.
<3May
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Return
Hey there!
The next "chapter" in my blog would be my next trip home- returning to the place I grew up after my settling and conditioning into New Orleans lifestyle. Let me just reiterate that I love this city beyond words and I have started calling it home. Rebirth is such an important concept for me, whether it's myself or my city. I feel so alive again and I am wondering if that feeling will carry through after my return to MA. Don't get me wrong, I love MA, but it's getting cold up there. My parents sent me a picture of my pond frozen over.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to, here's some marching band movies.
I will write from either the airport tomorrow morning while I'm waiting for my flight (yay Louis Armstrong for having free wifi!) or from Massachusetts!
<3may
The next "chapter" in my blog would be my next trip home- returning to the place I grew up after my settling and conditioning into New Orleans lifestyle. Let me just reiterate that I love this city beyond words and I have started calling it home. Rebirth is such an important concept for me, whether it's myself or my city. I feel so alive again and I am wondering if that feeling will carry through after my return to MA. Don't get me wrong, I love MA, but it's getting cold up there. My parents sent me a picture of my pond frozen over.
In case you are wondering what I've been up to, here's some marching band movies.
I will write from either the airport tomorrow morning while I'm waiting for my flight (yay Louis Armstrong for having free wifi!) or from Massachusetts!
<3may
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Almost Thanksgiving...
A week from tomorrow, at 6 AM central, I will board a plane that will take me to transfer to another plane that will take me to Massachusetts (okay, NH first, but then MA). For starters, holy mother of God! It's Thanksgiving time already? But it feels like the semester just started.
Then again, it also feels like I have lived in New Orleans my whole life. I consider 60 degrees "winter weather" now and potential snow over Thanksgiving/Xmas fascinates me. It's not like I've missed anything on that front (except a few flurries in Fitchburg Monday I heard?), but I haven't been acclimated to cold enough weather to produce snow, in fact, I wore flip flops to class today.
New Orleans culture feels like my own in many ways now. I feel so strongly connected to the events, music, food, et cetera. I know my way around the city fairly well now, and not having a car/money, that's impressive.
Anyways, I was talking about how I am going back to MA for Thanksgiving. I know 18.5 years in one place vs. 3 months in another hardly compares, but I honestly don't remember what it felt like to live in MA. When I think of home, I think of my dorm room, and consider my house back home my parent's house, the house I grew up in. I'm not ready to completely leave the nest at all, I love my parents' support, but it's how I catalog things. Home will feel like home again within a few hours of being at home home (how many times can I say "home" in one sentence?), but my dorm room is where I live. It's a question of saying you're from one place but live in another.
I am sad I missed the foliage. I think it might be cool to do Watatic while I'm home, some sort of mountainous structure. I went from the second hilliest city in the country to a giant bowl near the bayou that we all know and love as New Orleans. Even on hurrication in Texas everything seemed so flat. I miss freaking out behind the wheel driving up and down the super-steep streets of Fitchburg, it'll be so unreal to see hills like that! I haven't been around hills since August 15th, the day I moved. I also haven't touched a steering wheel since the 14th, so we'll see how driving works.
I am excited because most of my high school friends either live in Fitchburg still or are coming home, so I'll get to see my crowd. I miss them. I miss my family. I miss NCCES. I miss Fitchburg<3
<3Alymay
Then again, it also feels like I have lived in New Orleans my whole life. I consider 60 degrees "winter weather" now and potential snow over Thanksgiving/Xmas fascinates me. It's not like I've missed anything on that front (except a few flurries in Fitchburg Monday I heard?), but I haven't been acclimated to cold enough weather to produce snow, in fact, I wore flip flops to class today.
New Orleans culture feels like my own in many ways now. I feel so strongly connected to the events, music, food, et cetera. I know my way around the city fairly well now, and not having a car/money, that's impressive.
Anyways, I was talking about how I am going back to MA for Thanksgiving. I know 18.5 years in one place vs. 3 months in another hardly compares, but I honestly don't remember what it felt like to live in MA. When I think of home, I think of my dorm room, and consider my house back home my parent's house, the house I grew up in. I'm not ready to completely leave the nest at all, I love my parents' support, but it's how I catalog things. Home will feel like home again within a few hours of being at home home (how many times can I say "home" in one sentence?), but my dorm room is where I live. It's a question of saying you're from one place but live in another.
I am sad I missed the foliage. I think it might be cool to do Watatic while I'm home, some sort of mountainous structure. I went from the second hilliest city in the country to a giant bowl near the bayou that we all know and love as New Orleans. Even on hurrication in Texas everything seemed so flat. I miss freaking out behind the wheel driving up and down the super-steep streets of Fitchburg, it'll be so unreal to see hills like that! I haven't been around hills since August 15th, the day I moved. I also haven't touched a steering wheel since the 14th, so we'll see how driving works.
I am excited because most of my high school friends either live in Fitchburg still or are coming home, so I'll get to see my crowd. I miss them. I miss my family. I miss NCCES. I miss Fitchburg<3
<3Alymay
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Few Things I've Learned In College: Edition One
Greetings! Here's the start of what I expect to be an ongoing list in the next few years as I learn inside and outside of the classroom in college.
1. The people you live with aren't going to love you unconditionally like your parents did.
'nuff said. You have to REALLY work at these relationships to create a stable living environment. Your roommate did not spawn you from his/her uterus like your parents likely did (or offered to love you like they did).
2. Just because food is served on campus on your meal plan does not mean it's good for you or cheap.
For instance. The Rat. We think "oh it's 1:30 AM and I'm hungry. The Rat's open! Then you get there and realize you won't be spending less than six or seven dollars on anything, and though you just swipe your card and think nothing of it, those are real live dollars you're spending. And though they offer "healthy" options at the dining hall, it's nothing like Lanni Orchards quality fruit or anything remotely close. My body cannot wait to return to my parents' place in Fitchburg and be fed well for free again!
3. Procrastination is a way of life. A very very deprecating way of life.
Me saying this is like a "do as I say, not as I do" thing, but I am very good at saying "oh, I got loads of time!" and not doing my work until the last minute. The difficult part for me is it always gets done anyways, so it doesn't really matter when I do it academically. Stress wise? Ehh...stress is an addiction like caffeine, cigarettes, and cracks. These things come in threes and c's. For instance, I am blogging right now.
4. Relationships will come and go.
Don't get attached to one person too quickly, especially if you didn't know each other before college. The people may not be what you thought, and then that just creates a stupid dramatic breakup for no apparent reason. It's best to take these things slow.
5. It's good to have a personal motivator/incentive.
For instance, mine is Twin Peaks. My friend and I will say "after we do x amount of work, we can watch an episode of Twin Peaks." And even though I've seen every single episode, I decided since I haven't seen "Fire, Walk With Me" in ages, I will not watch it until we make it through all 30 episodes again. That way, this method will last at least another 23 times I need an incentive...
6. Unlike at home, you can't just leave your laundry in the machine...even an extra 20-30 minutes.
Behavior like that will result your clothes to end up on the floor of a dirty laundry room. They don't care if you got a nice ambulance ride/trip to the hospital while you were waiting for your clothes to dry.
That's all for today, but expect more editions as the years go by.
<3Alymay
1. The people you live with aren't going to love you unconditionally like your parents did.
'nuff said. You have to REALLY work at these relationships to create a stable living environment. Your roommate did not spawn you from his/her uterus like your parents likely did (or offered to love you like they did).
2. Just because food is served on campus on your meal plan does not mean it's good for you or cheap.
For instance. The Rat. We think "oh it's 1:30 AM and I'm hungry. The Rat's open! Then you get there and realize you won't be spending less than six or seven dollars on anything, and though you just swipe your card and think nothing of it, those are real live dollars you're spending. And though they offer "healthy" options at the dining hall, it's nothing like Lanni Orchards quality fruit or anything remotely close. My body cannot wait to return to my parents' place in Fitchburg and be fed well for free again!
3. Procrastination is a way of life. A very very deprecating way of life.
Me saying this is like a "do as I say, not as I do" thing, but I am very good at saying "oh, I got loads of time!" and not doing my work until the last minute. The difficult part for me is it always gets done anyways, so it doesn't really matter when I do it academically. Stress wise? Ehh...stress is an addiction like caffeine, cigarettes, and cracks. These things come in threes and c's. For instance, I am blogging right now.
4. Relationships will come and go.
Don't get attached to one person too quickly, especially if you didn't know each other before college. The people may not be what you thought, and then that just creates a stupid dramatic breakup for no apparent reason. It's best to take these things slow.
5. It's good to have a personal motivator/incentive.
For instance, mine is Twin Peaks. My friend and I will say "after we do x amount of work, we can watch an episode of Twin Peaks." And even though I've seen every single episode, I decided since I haven't seen "Fire, Walk With Me" in ages, I will not watch it until we make it through all 30 episodes again. That way, this method will last at least another 23 times I need an incentive...
6. Unlike at home, you can't just leave your laundry in the machine...even an extra 20-30 minutes.
Behavior like that will result your clothes to end up on the floor of a dirty laundry room. They don't care if you got a nice ambulance ride/trip to the hospital while you were waiting for your clothes to dry.
That's all for today, but expect more editions as the years go by.
<3Alymay
Monday, November 10, 2008
COLD!
Hey everyone!
I haven't forgotten about you, I just ventured to Houston for the weekend on band business (even though we lost 42-14, we had the most fun marching band experience in a while). I love marching band, it's kind of like my family here. I may hang out with other people a lot, but I can always come home to the m. band:-)
Right now, it's sixty out. I just went to the little market on campus for some puffin cereal and doctor pepper (sentiments of home...), wearing a sweater and boots, and STILL feeling cold. Sixty used to signal the start of t-shirt weather, and now that's seventy five. Then again, when I was in Houston this weekend, I got sunburned...in November. That'd never happen at home!
It's strange how our bodies adapt but our minds don't necessarily. Today, when I saw sixty online, I was thinking "no big deal!", but when i got outside, I was shivering. Mentally, i'm stoked for thirty degree weather, but I still warned my parents to pick me up at the airport with warm clothes because i don't really have any down here. It's nuts!
New Orleans really feels like home now, I mean Fitchburg will always be where I'm from, but NOLA is where I plan on spending a good chunk of my life:-)
<3may
I haven't forgotten about you, I just ventured to Houston for the weekend on band business (even though we lost 42-14, we had the most fun marching band experience in a while). I love marching band, it's kind of like my family here. I may hang out with other people a lot, but I can always come home to the m. band:-)
Right now, it's sixty out. I just went to the little market on campus for some puffin cereal and doctor pepper (sentiments of home...), wearing a sweater and boots, and STILL feeling cold. Sixty used to signal the start of t-shirt weather, and now that's seventy five. Then again, when I was in Houston this weekend, I got sunburned...in November. That'd never happen at home!
It's strange how our bodies adapt but our minds don't necessarily. Today, when I saw sixty online, I was thinking "no big deal!", but when i got outside, I was shivering. Mentally, i'm stoked for thirty degree weather, but I still warned my parents to pick me up at the airport with warm clothes because i don't really have any down here. It's nuts!
New Orleans really feels like home now, I mean Fitchburg will always be where I'm from, but NOLA is where I plan on spending a good chunk of my life:-)
<3may
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I know I know I know I know...
It's been over a week, which is something I promised myself I wouldn't do with this blog, but hey- it's been a lot of transitions.
I am finally settled in my new room, which is in the residential college (definitely more comfortable). My roommate is nice and our lifestyles fit together as far as roommate matching goes. I am starting to lax a bit on the cleaning front (and the sleeping front?) but it's all good. I am even thinking about taking a math class next semester! It would be a bit of a stretch, because I'd have to go from Calc II since I got credit for the Calc I class I took at FSC (which didn't even cover up to my friend's midterm at Tulane's calc I...), but I have a couple of math professors in the family and a close friend taking consolidated calc, so I'll be able to nail it over xmas.
Time is flying! In a month, it'll be finals season. Scary! I'll feel so much better once this semester is under my belt and I can start being an academic porn star again. I am starting to eat, breathe, and sleep like an "intellectual" again, I'm getting back to the woman I was before my personal hiatus of myself.
I feel more and more settled everyday, which is funny because I am a) not medicated anymore and b) out of therapy. It feels so much more natural though, and I just do therapy by yoga, cleaning (maybe I know I'll be stressed tomorrow morning and that's why I don't feel like cleaning), reading, writing, and sharing oxytocin (the "cuddle" hormone) with my friends. I am settling down again:-)
I keep remembering this one paper I wrote for one of my favorite teachers in eleventh grade. it was a fourteen-page paper on the cultural effects on HIV transmission- you can read a quick selection from it here on estrogenet. It was one of the first things I ever posted on my blog, so yay for it! i think the main reason why I keep bringing it up is in conversations with my Louisiana "bff", when I tell him how much I desire to be academically inclined again. Little bits and pieces are coming back, just not in the form they necessarily should be. I procrastinate on papers not because I am lazy but because a prompt like "do a research paper on something that has to do with sexuality!" makes me want to write like 453534653 papers...but which one to pick? (Incidentally, I picked talking to kids about sex, and I will make a blog-friendly cut for estrogenet soon).
I have to go write in estrogenet, incidentally, about Take Back the Night. The biggest post-Katrina turn out so far!
<3may
I am finally settled in my new room, which is in the residential college (definitely more comfortable). My roommate is nice and our lifestyles fit together as far as roommate matching goes. I am starting to lax a bit on the cleaning front (and the sleeping front?) but it's all good. I am even thinking about taking a math class next semester! It would be a bit of a stretch, because I'd have to go from Calc II since I got credit for the Calc I class I took at FSC (which didn't even cover up to my friend's midterm at Tulane's calc I...), but I have a couple of math professors in the family and a close friend taking consolidated calc, so I'll be able to nail it over xmas.
Time is flying! In a month, it'll be finals season. Scary! I'll feel so much better once this semester is under my belt and I can start being an academic porn star again. I am starting to eat, breathe, and sleep like an "intellectual" again, I'm getting back to the woman I was before my personal hiatus of myself.
I feel more and more settled everyday, which is funny because I am a) not medicated anymore and b) out of therapy. It feels so much more natural though, and I just do therapy by yoga, cleaning (maybe I know I'll be stressed tomorrow morning and that's why I don't feel like cleaning), reading, writing, and sharing oxytocin (the "cuddle" hormone) with my friends. I am settling down again:-)
I keep remembering this one paper I wrote for one of my favorite teachers in eleventh grade. it was a fourteen-page paper on the cultural effects on HIV transmission- you can read a quick selection from it here on estrogenet. It was one of the first things I ever posted on my blog, so yay for it! i think the main reason why I keep bringing it up is in conversations with my Louisiana "bff", when I tell him how much I desire to be academically inclined again. Little bits and pieces are coming back, just not in the form they necessarily should be. I procrastinate on papers not because I am lazy but because a prompt like "do a research paper on something that has to do with sexuality!" makes me want to write like 453534653 papers...but which one to pick? (Incidentally, I picked talking to kids about sex, and I will make a blog-friendly cut for estrogenet soon).
I have to go write in estrogenet, incidentally, about Take Back the Night. The biggest post-Katrina turn out so far!
<3may
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Homeless
It's hard to feel safe when you don't have a home.
My roommate made it very clear to me that I was no longer welcome to stay with her in our dorm, and since I was planning on moving out soon anyways, it just fueled the right fires for me to pack up and crash on couches (more like sharing those tiny dorm beds) and live night to night. I haven't had something I considered my own "bed" since...Thursday. And I haven't spent two consecutive nights in one space, because I don't want to get tied down anywhere. I stayed in a very nice suite last night with two of my marching band friends so I might stay here again if housing doesn't find me a place to live today. Or, I might go stay with my sister in Wisconsin because i have the go-ahead for a medical leave, but my parents aren't as cool with that. I would go home to Fitchburg, but things have happened to me there that I want to be far away from. My teachers tell me i'm too unstable to go to class and tell me "don't worry about it" if I even suggest going back to class.
I just feel like I don't have a safe place anymore on campus and that's a sad thing to feel.
<3alymay
My roommate made it very clear to me that I was no longer welcome to stay with her in our dorm, and since I was planning on moving out soon anyways, it just fueled the right fires for me to pack up and crash on couches (more like sharing those tiny dorm beds) and live night to night. I haven't had something I considered my own "bed" since...Thursday. And I haven't spent two consecutive nights in one space, because I don't want to get tied down anywhere. I stayed in a very nice suite last night with two of my marching band friends so I might stay here again if housing doesn't find me a place to live today. Or, I might go stay with my sister in Wisconsin because i have the go-ahead for a medical leave, but my parents aren't as cool with that. I would go home to Fitchburg, but things have happened to me there that I want to be far away from. My teachers tell me i'm too unstable to go to class and tell me "don't worry about it" if I even suggest going back to class.
I just feel like I don't have a safe place anymore on campus and that's a sad thing to feel.
<3alymay
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Being Away At Election Time
My absentee ballot is coming in the mail this week, and it's my first official presidential election (the democratic primary in March was my first election ever). I kind of wish I could actually go to a polling place and do it the ol' fashioned way, but the MA election is a big deal for me right now so I'm doing absentee instead of registering here. Virginia Wood is running for Hargraves' seat, and I really want her to win that election (and I've helped out with her myspace and facebook a little bit). Question two is important to me, too, because it doesn't make sense for possession of marijuana to be a criminal offense- we'd save (and make...) a lot more money by making it a civil offense. I also don't believe in the prison system, but that's another rant for another day.
A lot of my friends registered in Louisiana, and they actually get to vote in the LBC, our student union. Things are heating up and I get an email a day from our chapter of College Democrats. It's exciting times, I just am a little homesick because I wish I could use my old connections and resources, but it's all a part of growing up.
<3Alymay
A lot of my friends registered in Louisiana, and they actually get to vote in the LBC, our student union. Things are heating up and I get an email a day from our chapter of College Democrats. It's exciting times, I just am a little homesick because I wish I could use my old connections and resources, but it's all a part of growing up.
<3Alymay
Friday, October 10, 2008
Linguistics
The best part about Tulane for me right now is how different all of our backgrounds are. Sure, there's not enough ethnic diversity for my liking, but there's people from all over the country who want a Tulane degree (after all, we all know that Harvard is just the Tulane of the North). Though there are certainly more Southerners than fellow "Yankees" here, the diversity is phenomenal. I have friends from rural Mississippi and the nicest parts of Dallas, all with accents that I have a hard time understanding. Every time I say "wicked", which anyone who knows me knows is a staple word of my vocabulary, I get laughs, but then again, when my roommate tells a story, she says "whenever I just went to..." instead of "when I just went to". Verb conjugation is no longer necessary, and whenever anyone corrects someone's grammar, they usually say, "it's the South, baby". Store clerks and restaurant staff call me "baby girl" (as does my boyfriend?) and when I call someone "buddy", they think I'm threatening them.
Little things that my microcosm of born-and-bred Fitchburg friends took for granted (like comprehension of the word "wicked") are starting to be more appreciated.
After falling off the top bunk and almost breaking my foot, Meg and I switched beds. Here's how I've decked out my new one. Note the Newfoundland rebel flag and Red Sox pillow- I know where I came from. The green thing is actually a sarong that I've made a makeshift curtain out of so I can take naps during the day.
<3may
Little things that my microcosm of born-and-bred Fitchburg friends took for granted (like comprehension of the word "wicked") are starting to be more appreciated.
After falling off the top bunk and almost breaking my foot, Meg and I switched beds. Here's how I've decked out my new one. Note the Newfoundland rebel flag and Red Sox pillow- I know where I came from. The green thing is actually a sarong that I've made a makeshift curtain out of so I can take naps during the day.
<3may
Monday, October 6, 2008
Appreciation for College.
College is awesome. We think as high schoolers but have the freedom of an adult and parents to call on if you really mess up and a place with free food that's opened at most decent hours. Though I am much more studious here than I was in Massachusetts, I have certainly lived more. For better or for worse, I've developed a strong taste for ramen and have learned to hide a hickey with toothpaste and foundation. I've broken minor laws and had to figure out how to take care of myself when I couldn't breathe. My door is decorated with condoms as a response to some stupid penis graffiti people left on our door signs (if you're drawing a penis on my door, you better give it a condom). It's 2 AM and instead of doing my russian homework, I'm writing. I've changed my major about 30 times in the past week. I love it here.
Nobody looks at you funny when you dance to Ricky Martin and Britney Spears. When you're first starting out at school, you make friends while wearing a towel after a shower, brushing your teeth next to each other. The concept of personal hygiene has lapsed a little bit and you take more risks.
I feel myself living my life to the fullest now, and I am one happy woman for it.
Part of me still wishes that next week was Thanksgiving because I do miss Massachusetts. Down there, you have to wear a sweater outside because it's so cold. Here, you have to inside because people jack the AC way up. I want to see the leaves change, but ours only fall from hurricane damage. When the Red Sox win, people aren't partying in the streets, in fact, some people get pissed at you for wearing a sox shirt. One (extremely drunk) guy I ran into on the quad tried to pick me up today with this line, "I have a problem. I love red heads, but they're all from Boston and I'm a yankees fan". It was so weird to be their concept of a Boston girl when I am really just from North Central Mass.
And I do miss Fitchburg. More than I can say.
<3Alymay
Nobody looks at you funny when you dance to Ricky Martin and Britney Spears. When you're first starting out at school, you make friends while wearing a towel after a shower, brushing your teeth next to each other. The concept of personal hygiene has lapsed a little bit and you take more risks.
I feel myself living my life to the fullest now, and I am one happy woman for it.
Part of me still wishes that next week was Thanksgiving because I do miss Massachusetts. Down there, you have to wear a sweater outside because it's so cold. Here, you have to inside because people jack the AC way up. I want to see the leaves change, but ours only fall from hurricane damage. When the Red Sox win, people aren't partying in the streets, in fact, some people get pissed at you for wearing a sox shirt. One (extremely drunk) guy I ran into on the quad tried to pick me up today with this line, "I have a problem. I love red heads, but they're all from Boston and I'm a yankees fan". It was so weird to be their concept of a Boston girl when I am really just from North Central Mass.
And I do miss Fitchburg. More than I can say.
<3Alymay
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Reflections On A New Orleans Fall Day
Walking home from orchestra today, I felt the most comfortable and at one with the campus since my arrival in mid-August. With a trombone on my back, Tulane flip-flops on my feet, and a smile on my face, I thought about how I was so miserable here at first, how much I love Massachusetts, but reminding myself that I wouldn't be regretting the choice of jeans because of the weather down there- my parents have already used the wood stove. Just yesterday, many girls in bikinis were sunbathing outside my window. This climate is a lot more comfortable, but I am going to miss the foliage this year.
I got sad news this week that my grandfather is in the hospital because his heart rate is unsteady- guess heart problems run in the family this week. They're probably putting in a pacemaker on Monday, but it's just hard to be halfway across the country and not be able to visit him. I am trying to think positively about this whole situation. I am at one with the world.
On my walk earlier, I also thought about my future plans. Right now, I'm taking it easy, exploring classes that sound interesting, and finding myself. My favorite classes are music and human sexuality (I've always been for sex, drugs, and rock and roll I guess), but I feel Russian is getting up there, too. The only class I really don't like is biology, which may be a big clue that I do not have a future in medicine. I think I'd be happiest teaching and writing, playing trombone and euphonium, saving the world with my words, and doing political activism. If well behaved women rarely make history, maybe it's time for me to do what's right in my heart and not what I'm supposed to do. I think I have a future in academia ahead of me- a music history professor? Or English? Something humanities-based- I've always loved those classes. Psychology- I could be a counselor. In short, I am keeping options open and all over the place. I love marching band so much too. That's really my favorite thing I do on campus.
All I know is that for the first time since I moved here, I can honestly say I love it here.
<3may
I got sad news this week that my grandfather is in the hospital because his heart rate is unsteady- guess heart problems run in the family this week. They're probably putting in a pacemaker on Monday, but it's just hard to be halfway across the country and not be able to visit him. I am trying to think positively about this whole situation. I am at one with the world.
On my walk earlier, I also thought about my future plans. Right now, I'm taking it easy, exploring classes that sound interesting, and finding myself. My favorite classes are music and human sexuality (I've always been for sex, drugs, and rock and roll I guess), but I feel Russian is getting up there, too. The only class I really don't like is biology, which may be a big clue that I do not have a future in medicine. I think I'd be happiest teaching and writing, playing trombone and euphonium, saving the world with my words, and doing political activism. If well behaved women rarely make history, maybe it's time for me to do what's right in my heart and not what I'm supposed to do. I think I have a future in academia ahead of me- a music history professor? Or English? Something humanities-based- I've always loved those classes. Psychology- I could be a counselor. In short, I am keeping options open and all over the place. I love marching band so much too. That's really my favorite thing I do on campus.
All I know is that for the first time since I moved here, I can honestly say I love it here.
<3may
Friday, September 26, 2008
In Sickness and In Health
So this has been the most intense week ever.
I had a bad reaction to a medication on Sunday night that landed me in Tulane Pediatric Hospital. It was really scary because Andrew and I called TEMS (the tulane EMS service) and they had to come with their oxygen tanks and everything and take me to the hospital because my chest pain was bad and I couldn't breathe. Thank God I'm doing so much better- I feel fit as a fiddle now- and am off the medication that made me sick.
That made me miss some classes in the beginning of the week, but now I'm back in the swing of things. I played in the Tulane/SMU game last night (we won!), and I got to meet some cool band kids from SMU. Tonight, the marching band and kappa kappa psi (my co-ed music honors fraternity) are taking them to the quarter:-)
All of this medical excitement did make me a little extra homesick this week. I'm so used to being in Boston and having my primary care physician easily accessible. I'm used to my mom taking care of me and taking the pain away. It's very different, but it's all a part of growing up.
Classes are going well- I've already changed my major from public health to music and (i think?) psychology. I decided I'm much more interested in mental health, and I'd really prefer to be talking through things with people than giving them medications. I am thinking about becoming a counselor, but things are still very up in the air. Right now, I'm taking bio, harmony (music theory), russian, human sexuality, and four credits of bands. Besides a few difficulties in bio, things are going fantastically.
I miss everyone back home, but I am starting to like it a lot here. And I have tons of Tulane pride, I'm excited it's homecoming week. And not just because I get to see Reel Big Fish:-)
Love,
May
I had a bad reaction to a medication on Sunday night that landed me in Tulane Pediatric Hospital. It was really scary because Andrew and I called TEMS (the tulane EMS service) and they had to come with their oxygen tanks and everything and take me to the hospital because my chest pain was bad and I couldn't breathe. Thank God I'm doing so much better- I feel fit as a fiddle now- and am off the medication that made me sick.
That made me miss some classes in the beginning of the week, but now I'm back in the swing of things. I played in the Tulane/SMU game last night (we won!), and I got to meet some cool band kids from SMU. Tonight, the marching band and kappa kappa psi (my co-ed music honors fraternity) are taking them to the quarter:-)
All of this medical excitement did make me a little extra homesick this week. I'm so used to being in Boston and having my primary care physician easily accessible. I'm used to my mom taking care of me and taking the pain away. It's very different, but it's all a part of growing up.
Classes are going well- I've already changed my major from public health to music and (i think?) psychology. I decided I'm much more interested in mental health, and I'd really prefer to be talking through things with people than giving them medications. I am thinking about becoming a counselor, but things are still very up in the air. Right now, I'm taking bio, harmony (music theory), russian, human sexuality, and four credits of bands. Besides a few difficulties in bio, things are going fantastically.
I miss everyone back home, but I am starting to like it a lot here. And I have tons of Tulane pride, I'm excited it's homecoming week. And not just because I get to see Reel Big Fish:-)
Love,
May
Thursday, September 18, 2008
There Isn't That Much Ocean Between Boston and St. John's
"Boston and St. John's"
(written by Alan Doyle)
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS:
It's true I must be going but I swear I won't be long
There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St. John's
I'm a rover and I'm bound to sail away
I'm a rover. Can you love me anyway?
And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?
CHORUS
Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you'll wait for me
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS
I don't know whether it's the fact that I saw Great Big Sea in Boston, or the fact that my family is from St. John's, Newfoundland, or the fact that I feel like I need to leave for Boston all of the time, but hearing this song today made me cry. Great Big Sea is an amazing band, and I love them so much.
Even though they didn't write at all (and probably haven't even heard of) Fitchburg, something told me to write in this blog. I don't know why I feel so retrospective here, but sometimes, I'll be walking to the student union or to the dining hall and I think "well, this isn't Fitchburg". It doesn't help that the staircase in Newcomb Hall (where my Russian class is) looks exactly like the one in Thompson or the fact that the Newcomb campus slightly resembles a more Southern FSC (think magnolia and palm trees). The stage has the same equipment and design as Durgin Hall at UMass Lowell and even the same stackable chairs- all that's missing is my trombone friends: Amy, Steve, Nate, Chuck, Tom...
There may not be much ocean between Boston and St. John's, but there sure as hell is a lot of land between Boston and New Orleans. According to Google Maps, it is 1522 miles from my address here to my address home, and would take exactly a day (24 hours and 0 minutes) to drive there in a straight shot. That's a lot of land, space, and it's kind of scary to think about. I want to go home so badly, but at the same time, I love it here. I'd only be happy if we could teleport so I could go home and visit my parents, have dinner with them once a week, play with my Satchmo puppy, and then be back and live in Monroe, because I do love it here. I'm just so torn- I want to be everywhere all at once- which of course throws me back to Lowell, and my love of Jack Kerouac...
"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac, In On the Road
I've lost my focus.
<3may
(written by Alan Doyle)
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS:
It's true I must be going but I swear I won't be long
There isn't that much ocean between Boston and St. John's
I'm a rover and I'm bound to sail away
I'm a rover. Can you love me anyway?
And if some suitor comes approaching
Will you let him through your door
And what if I return half broken
Will you still want me anymore?
CHORUS
Close your eyes and dream
Tell me what you see
Tell me what you want
Just tell me that you'll wait for me
Girl, don't tell me that it's morning
Can we keep the curtains drawn
I haven't given you fair warning
But our ship, she sails at dawn
CHORUS
I don't know whether it's the fact that I saw Great Big Sea in Boston, or the fact that my family is from St. John's, Newfoundland, or the fact that I feel like I need to leave for Boston all of the time, but hearing this song today made me cry. Great Big Sea is an amazing band, and I love them so much.
Even though they didn't write at all (and probably haven't even heard of) Fitchburg, something told me to write in this blog. I don't know why I feel so retrospective here, but sometimes, I'll be walking to the student union or to the dining hall and I think "well, this isn't Fitchburg". It doesn't help that the staircase in Newcomb Hall (where my Russian class is) looks exactly like the one in Thompson or the fact that the Newcomb campus slightly resembles a more Southern FSC (think magnolia and palm trees). The stage has the same equipment and design as Durgin Hall at UMass Lowell and even the same stackable chairs- all that's missing is my trombone friends: Amy, Steve, Nate, Chuck, Tom...
There may not be much ocean between Boston and St. John's, but there sure as hell is a lot of land between Boston and New Orleans. According to Google Maps, it is 1522 miles from my address here to my address home, and would take exactly a day (24 hours and 0 minutes) to drive there in a straight shot. That's a lot of land, space, and it's kind of scary to think about. I want to go home so badly, but at the same time, I love it here. I'd only be happy if we could teleport so I could go home and visit my parents, have dinner with them once a week, play with my Satchmo puppy, and then be back and live in Monroe, because I do love it here. I'm just so torn- I want to be everywhere all at once- which of course throws me back to Lowell, and my love of Jack Kerouac...
"But then they danced down the street like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
-Jack Kerouac, In On the Road
I've lost my focus.
<3may
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Good and Bad News
Hey everyone-
Well, the good news is my meteorology skills have improved about two-fold. And back in New England, I was one of those card-carrying NOLA weather spotters, so I was better than the average 18 year old girl.
The bad news is it doesn't do wonders for my nerves. I neurotically check intellicast and weather.gov, only to find things like this (taken from intellicast.com):
And I start to say to myself "okay, if pressure from Hanna alleviates a bit, it'll just hit FL", but I don't want to wish a hurricane on FL. Then I thought "well if it hits Cuba dead on (which now it looks to be doing), then it'll slow down!" but I remember they REALLY don't need another hurricane. I just want it to go away.
And NOT hit NOLA. Two potential hurricanes your first month of senior year is nasty. This never happened in New England!
Love,
may
Well, the good news is my meteorology skills have improved about two-fold. And back in New England, I was one of those card-carrying NOLA weather spotters, so I was better than the average 18 year old girl.
The bad news is it doesn't do wonders for my nerves. I neurotically check intellicast and weather.gov, only to find things like this (taken from intellicast.com):
And I start to say to myself "okay, if pressure from Hanna alleviates a bit, it'll just hit FL", but I don't want to wish a hurricane on FL. Then I thought "well if it hits Cuba dead on (which now it looks to be doing), then it'll slow down!" but I remember they REALLY don't need another hurricane. I just want it to go away.And NOT hit NOLA. Two potential hurricanes your first month of senior year is nasty. This never happened in New England!
Love,
may
Saturday, September 6, 2008
The Concept Of Home
Hey everyone!
I'm off to New Orleans, back to my dorm in the morning. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.
This evacuation has really thrown off my sense of home, however. I had just started calling the dorm "home", had only lived there for two weeks, when I had to get up and travel to Dallas. I've been here a little over the week, and though I love it here and am so well taken care of by my boyfriend's family, it's not my home, I can't call it that- I'm just visiting. Fitchburg still is where I'm from, but as my parents have apparently changed all of the furniture in my room and I honestly think of my 18 years of Massachusetts as a blur now, it has lost its "home" touch in my mind. It will always be where I am from, but I won't return for several months.
Since I am in a transient state with no clear point of "home", I've been in weird moods. I love spending time here- every day is a new experience, more fun. But I get homesick at nights, and my comforts are a few stuffed animals that evacuated me and my boyfriend to remind me of our times together in New Orleans. I have clothes that I picked out with my mom, and of course, the internet, which makes the world so much smaller. I am doing fine.
I can't wait to unpack my room tomorrow (again), and make Mo-503 my home- at least for a little while.
Unless Ike gets in the way? Too early to say.
Love,
May
I'm off to New Orleans, back to my dorm in the morning. I look forward to getting back into the swing of things.
This evacuation has really thrown off my sense of home, however. I had just started calling the dorm "home", had only lived there for two weeks, when I had to get up and travel to Dallas. I've been here a little over the week, and though I love it here and am so well taken care of by my boyfriend's family, it's not my home, I can't call it that- I'm just visiting. Fitchburg still is where I'm from, but as my parents have apparently changed all of the furniture in my room and I honestly think of my 18 years of Massachusetts as a blur now, it has lost its "home" touch in my mind. It will always be where I am from, but I won't return for several months.
Since I am in a transient state with no clear point of "home", I've been in weird moods. I love spending time here- every day is a new experience, more fun. But I get homesick at nights, and my comforts are a few stuffed animals that evacuated me and my boyfriend to remind me of our times together in New Orleans. I have clothes that I picked out with my mom, and of course, the internet, which makes the world so much smaller. I am doing fine.
I can't wait to unpack my room tomorrow (again), and make Mo-503 my home- at least for a little while.
Unless Ike gets in the way? Too early to say.
Love,
May
Monday, September 1, 2008
Dallas Files? Just Kidding.
Hey everyone!
Here in Dallas, it's almost one, but I am still awake. I am having a fantastic weekend here with Meg and Andrew (roommate and boyfriend respectively) in the DFW area. I've met a lot of Andrew's family and friends, seen the Fort Worth Stock Yards, went tubing for the first time, gone to country clubs for dinner, and gone swimming. The rest of the week includes plans of seeing Andrew's high school, the aquarium, a jazz concert, a wildlife refuge, and other points of interest. I am sure that we'll have a blast. Here I am about to take a picture with a horned cow.
As for the storm, it did not seem to hurt NOLA too much at all. Tulane will resume classes on Monday, so Andrew and I bought flights for Sunday morning. This ended up becoming a ten day vacation more than anything, but it is a great thing that we left when we did. I have homework to do and miles to go before i sleep (I don't really sleep to well in general at all, and a close friend being in Slidell didn't help me that much at all this week). I am very homesick for Massachusetts, and often think about my high school, my dog, my close friends, FSC, and First Thursdays (not going to lie, I thought about coming to MA for the evacuation to hit up NCCES' first day and FT this month). Though I am a little homesick for MA, I am having fun on my hurrication here.
Much love,
May
Here in Dallas, it's almost one, but I am still awake. I am having a fantastic weekend here with Meg and Andrew (roommate and boyfriend respectively) in the DFW area. I've met a lot of Andrew's family and friends, seen the Fort Worth Stock Yards, went tubing for the first time, gone to country clubs for dinner, and gone swimming. The rest of the week includes plans of seeing Andrew's high school, the aquarium, a jazz concert, a wildlife refuge, and other points of interest. I am sure that we'll have a blast. Here I am about to take a picture with a horned cow.
As for the storm, it did not seem to hurt NOLA too much at all. Tulane will resume classes on Monday, so Andrew and I bought flights for Sunday morning. This ended up becoming a ten day vacation more than anything, but it is a great thing that we left when we did. I have homework to do and miles to go before i sleep (I don't really sleep to well in general at all, and a close friend being in Slidell didn't help me that much at all this week). I am very homesick for Massachusetts, and often think about my high school, my dog, my close friends, FSC, and First Thursdays (not going to lie, I thought about coming to MA for the evacuation to hit up NCCES' first day and FT this month). Though I am a little homesick for MA, I am having fun on my hurrication here.
Much love,
May
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Hurrication
Okay, I have a minute because I still make freshman in college mistakes. A victory Doctor Pepper is NOT the way to celebrate packing up your room if you planned on sleeping after. Especially if your roomie (who happens to be one of your best friends in the world even after just a week) made the same epic mistake. I think we'll be up for a bit.
Packing up is right. My room hasn't looked this clean since the day I walked into it. Besides the Einstein poster, which is way away from the window (around where the picture was taken) and Meg's suitcase on the ground, we're all packed up. This is nuts because a few short hours ago, our room was a mess...maybe the good that's come out of Gustav so far is the motivation for me and Meg to clean our room (and take a break to take about 160 pictures with the "NO ME GUSTAV" window paint over our window, because we are proud of ourselves).
So tomorrow I get to evacuate with my boyfriend and my roommate to Dallas. In case you haven't seen the projection of this storm, you can see it here, taken from the Weather Channel site.
New Orleans is right in the middle, and the storm is moving very slowly (which is not good), but my dad made a valid point. When he is golfing and there's a big tree in the way, he aims for the tree, as he's bound to go to the left or right.
In Fitchburg, I worry about storms maybe a few hours before ("Canobie Lake trip tomorrow instead? Looks like there's a system coming through"), and even in this summer, when it rained every day (is that still going on, folks, or did I take that weather pattern with me?), we never had to evacuate, the most I had to do was move a tree that fell down in my driveway!
More evacuation news and pictures to come.
<3may
First Week Of Classes, First Mandatory Evacuation
In my first week in New Orleans, I got to brag about how eight inches of snow is "nothing" and complain that it was "so damn hot"while I marched away in band.
Hurricane Gustav seems to be heading our way, and I am faced with my first ever mandatory evacuation. I'll get a nice trip to Dallas with the boyfriend in the deal, and I really don't think it'll be too bad here in New Orleans. It's a little scary, knowing home is threatened, but I think things will be fine in general.
I will write more when I am in Dallas and not packing frantically, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm safe.
<3may
Hurricane Gustav seems to be heading our way, and I am faced with my first ever mandatory evacuation. I'll get a nice trip to Dallas with the boyfriend in the deal, and I really don't think it'll be too bad here in New Orleans. It's a little scary, knowing home is threatened, but I think things will be fine in general.
I will write more when I am in Dallas and not packing frantically, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm safe.
<3may
Sunday, August 24, 2008
My First Week: Results.
Hey there everyone!
I am quietly typing away on my little macbook while my roommate sleeps in the bed next to mine (she's a heavy sleeper, so i probably won't have to worry about blogging whenever I need to). She moved in yesterday, from Texas. I am in the TU marching band, so I've been here since the 15th.
Band camp was a lot of fun, but I probably worked harder than I ever have. The heat down here is much stronger than anything one experiences in the North, plus, if you can believe it, the humidity is stronger than the New England air I grew up on. In Massachusetts, I would typically reapply sunscreen at my lunch break during whatever outdoor activity I participated in. In our marching band, we take water breaks about every hour or so, when I would always reapply, and I still managed second-degree burns. I did not know it was physically possible to blister from a sunburn, but it is (I personally thought that my legs were infected with the bubonic plague).
Everyone has a nice outlook on life so far. A lot of people are in strong spirits. One night, I had a political debate with a friend who's polar opposite me politically (conservative Christian while I'm...not), but it was so civil! We loved talking for hours on end, and we critiqued each others parties, but never got mad at each other- even when talking about sensitive issues like abortion, gay marriage, and separation of church in state. Back home, these civil political debates did not happen in my circle of friends- but this is one of the many reasons why I chose Louisiana- to be around people who are different, but still have my oasis in the city of New Orleans.
One minor thing I noticed that's different about New Orleans is how everyone drives. I've never driven here, but am fluent in my comfort zones of Mass and NH (okay, I avoid 128). Here, the cars don't always stop for pedestrians like you can trust them to do in Boston, but everyone drives a lot slower. It's an interesting concept.
I miss everyone so much, and I can't wait to come home to Fitchburg with a host of new ideas in how to revitalize the city.
Love always,
May
I am quietly typing away on my little macbook while my roommate sleeps in the bed next to mine (she's a heavy sleeper, so i probably won't have to worry about blogging whenever I need to). She moved in yesterday, from Texas. I am in the TU marching band, so I've been here since the 15th.
Band camp was a lot of fun, but I probably worked harder than I ever have. The heat down here is much stronger than anything one experiences in the North, plus, if you can believe it, the humidity is stronger than the New England air I grew up on. In Massachusetts, I would typically reapply sunscreen at my lunch break during whatever outdoor activity I participated in. In our marching band, we take water breaks about every hour or so, when I would always reapply, and I still managed second-degree burns. I did not know it was physically possible to blister from a sunburn, but it is (I personally thought that my legs were infected with the bubonic plague).
Everyone has a nice outlook on life so far. A lot of people are in strong spirits. One night, I had a political debate with a friend who's polar opposite me politically (conservative Christian while I'm...not), but it was so civil! We loved talking for hours on end, and we critiqued each others parties, but never got mad at each other- even when talking about sensitive issues like abortion, gay marriage, and separation of church in state. Back home, these civil political debates did not happen in my circle of friends- but this is one of the many reasons why I chose Louisiana- to be around people who are different, but still have my oasis in the city of New Orleans.
One minor thing I noticed that's different about New Orleans is how everyone drives. I've never driven here, but am fluent in my comfort zones of Mass and NH (okay, I avoid 128). Here, the cars don't always stop for pedestrians like you can trust them to do in Boston, but everyone drives a lot slower. It's an interesting concept.
I miss everyone so much, and I can't wait to come home to Fitchburg with a host of new ideas in how to revitalize the city.
Love always,
May
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Part One: Prepping for Departure
Last night, one of my best friends (and Fitchburg native) asked me to document my "Exodus" of Fitchburg- what it is like to leave the city you were born in and the city you love. I am so connected with this city (see my half-asleep, grammatically incorrect ode to Fitchburg in my other blog, Estrogenet, here), and this is going to be a difficult journey, but one that I look forward to.
From my birth on December 16th, 1989, to today, August 14th, 2008, when people ask me where I lived, I said "Fitchburg", very proudly (even though I kind of live in Townsend). That's almost nineteen years of being a girl in the 'Burg. I've seen a lot of changes as I've grown up here, and I feel very connected to this city.
Tomorrow, in the wee hours of the morning, I will get dropped off by teary-eyed parents at Logan Airport. I feel like I'm being sent off into the world, pushed out of my comfort zone. I am so lucky to have three solid deep friendships there, and many other acquaintances with the potential for becoming deep, so I have a safety net. I will live in New Orleans, but my home will be Fitchburg. That will always be where I'm from.
Last night, I called my fellow Tulanian and Dallas native friend crying. I told him all about Fitchburg's problems and that I didn't feel ready to leave. I hadn't finished my work here- I felt like I was quitting. I had earlier expressed this "I'm not ready" feeling to the friend that convinced me to start this chronology. They both told me that I am moving onto another adventure, and Fitchburg will always be here for me. I can always come back. I don't want to become Fitchburg's prodigal son that comes back once a year, but eventually, I want to spend more time here. It's hard to be away from the city I grew up in, but I need to open a window somewhere else. Experiencing another developing city will help me come back and let Fitchburg develop. So many positive changes have happened this year, and I look forward to reading the Sentinel online (unless they deliver to NOLA? Just kidding) and finding out what's new. Keeping in touch with my Charter folks and seeing how the school I have been involved with since it had dirt floors and had another year to open its doors for the first time.
Leaving Fitchburg will be hard, but I can't wait to come home with a new level of experience under my belt.
<3may
From my birth on December 16th, 1989, to today, August 14th, 2008, when people ask me where I lived, I said "Fitchburg", very proudly (even though I kind of live in Townsend). That's almost nineteen years of being a girl in the 'Burg. I've seen a lot of changes as I've grown up here, and I feel very connected to this city.
Tomorrow, in the wee hours of the morning, I will get dropped off by teary-eyed parents at Logan Airport. I feel like I'm being sent off into the world, pushed out of my comfort zone. I am so lucky to have three solid deep friendships there, and many other acquaintances with the potential for becoming deep, so I have a safety net. I will live in New Orleans, but my home will be Fitchburg. That will always be where I'm from.
Last night, I called my fellow Tulanian and Dallas native friend crying. I told him all about Fitchburg's problems and that I didn't feel ready to leave. I hadn't finished my work here- I felt like I was quitting. I had earlier expressed this "I'm not ready" feeling to the friend that convinced me to start this chronology. They both told me that I am moving onto another adventure, and Fitchburg will always be here for me. I can always come back. I don't want to become Fitchburg's prodigal son that comes back once a year, but eventually, I want to spend more time here. It's hard to be away from the city I grew up in, but I need to open a window somewhere else. Experiencing another developing city will help me come back and let Fitchburg develop. So many positive changes have happened this year, and I look forward to reading the Sentinel online (unless they deliver to NOLA? Just kidding) and finding out what's new. Keeping in touch with my Charter folks and seeing how the school I have been involved with since it had dirt floors and had another year to open its doors for the first time.
Leaving Fitchburg will be hard, but I can't wait to come home with a new level of experience under my belt.
<3may
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